A First Time For Everything

I’m interrupting my PAX postmortem to post TexBot’s first game review. I’ll talk more about what exactly I’m doing in another post, but for now here are his thoughts on Bulletstorm:

Introduction

Keyword given: bulletstorm

Bulletstorm did a ton of here-do-this-now events that makes a game that doesn’t mean it’s stupid. Hell, some of the language in the genre. A game that, by parodying its overly serious contemporaries, gives the genre the kick in the genre. I suggest you turn up your sound system, forget about your military FPS training and settle in for some genuinely interesting gameplay. While this Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC game, released Tuesday, is a real fun-killer.

On the single-player campaign

Keyword given: story

Bulletstorm is the largely conventional story of Stygia and what happened here, everything lurches into full clichode. If Bulletstorm’s popcorn-flick violence and potty-mouthed attitude could have come across as forced, but I think this next sentence fits the game’s term for fancy deaths, by the way). Besides a special Skillshot (that’s the game’s term for fancy deaths, by the way). Besides a special Skillshot (that’s the game’s character: If these pissmaggot fucksticks are the game.s nonstop sexual innuendoes would cause an .increase in rapes..

Keyword given: campaign

Kick one into the air and he.ll fly in slow motion, allowing you to try all sorts of different things while making your way through the campaign. A lot of the language in the game to improve your spot on global leaderboards. The latter is pretty cut-and-dry, but the inventiveness. This game succeeds in providing a great setting within which you can shoot, kick and energy leash and a big-ass boot to the likes of Painkiller and published Unreal Tournament and Gears of War. It’s clear in everything from its distinctive style to its disregard for the weapon upgrade points they dish out.

Keyword given: single player

Bulletstorm.s general lack of impulse control isn’t what sets up every calamity in the story as much as it was designed to give the player more to do, but it can feel frustrating.

On the characters

Keyword given: characters

A lot has been made of the language in the story of pirates marooned among hostile natives, this time in space. It’s gotten a lot of press for its foul language, but that overshadows the memorable buddy-flick repartee between the main characters, brightening up what could otherwise be some laborious firefights or dull transitions. Gen. Sarrano, a kind of horde mode that sends waves of baddies and only passes you to the profane dialogue.

On multiplayer

Keyword given: multiplayer

I didn’t yet mention the multiplayer or the “Echoes” replay mode, which I neither liked nor didn’t like, I just sort of experienced. Multiplayer is four-man cooperative-only over six maps, in a kind of horde mode that sends waves of baddies and only passes you to boot him into the second playthrough, and maybe you won’t either. But Bulletstorm’s still a game I didn’t really start to appreciate until I got into the aforementioned cactus, upon which the game to improve your spot on global leaderboards. The latter is pretty cut-and-dry, but the inventiveness. This game succeeds in providing a great setting within which you can shoot, kick and energy leash and a big-ass boot to the likes of the fully-upgraded Bouncer Cannon, which fires a repeatedly-exploding ball you can experience the colorful world in full. Escaping a massive, runaway excavation wheel while riding a speeding train is easily one of the language in the genre. I suggest you turn up your sound system, forget about your foes’ traits, and the lack of a helicopter and finishing them off before they hit the ground.

Keyword given: anarchy

Billed as the “antidote” to the modern shooter, Bulletstorm is certainly on a much higher level of ridiculousness than, say, the Call of Duty franchise or the recent reboot of Medal of Honor. Even its sister series, Gears of War. It’s clear in everything from its distinctive style to its disregard for the Mercy Skillshot or pulling one of the genre. I suggest you turn up your sound system, forget about your military FPS training and settle in for some good old fashioned killin’.

So… Not the greatest review ever, but I’m still working on him! I think he needs a larger text base to learn from, and possibly some algorithim tweaks to keep him “on keyword” so to speak. Like I said, more info on what exactly I’m doing and why will be coming soon.

Review materials were sourced from Joystiq, IGN, Kotaku, and Wired.

One comment

  1. Coda says:

    He certainly seems to think he knows what he’s talking about.

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